A Book Review: The Well-Trained Mind

I finally finished reading the parts of this book that applied to me in the immediate future. This is a massive book and not necessarily meant to be read through, but read in applicable sections and then used as a reference. The classical school method has long interested me and I wanted to understand the philosophy behind it better as to determine whether or not it is for our family. Side note: You have to understand that I do not consider myself in charge of our children's education. My husband definitely gets the "say so" but he totally relies on me to do the research and bring the facts to him. He trusts my opinions on our childrens' educations to the utmost...too much I think. I feel pretty overwhelmed sometimes at the idea of being responsible for what and how our children learn. But then there are other days (thankfully more in frequency) when I just can't wait to dive in!!!

Instead of reviewing the book here and giving tons of details that most of you won't care to read, I decided I would put a link here to the "Well-Trained Mind" website's definition of Classical Schooling.

This systematic style of learning that is language-centered (which obviously appeals to my English Lit major husband) truly makes sense to my brain. I am a systematic thinker...I think. As of now, we are planning to forge into this new territory. I just have to remember not only today, but every single day from now until graduation day that I cannot do this task in my own strength. If I feel convicted that this is the road God desires our family to take, then I must take it with confidence in my Savior alone...not in my own abilities or lack thereof.

Same goes for almost anything, right?

Prayer Request

Ok, this is it...again.

Chris has an interview with Starbucks for an Assistant Manager position in Allen.
We have a date, which is July 10th at 9:30 am.

Most of you know what we went through last December when we were disappointed by an ASM position that fell through. That meant for us 6 more months of Chris working 70 hour weeks. Guys, he's wiped out. He's functioning and God has protected him in an incredible way from illness. But after "paying our dues" for a year and a half now at Starbucks we are SO ready for a normal 40 hour/week job!! Chris has worked so hard!! I respect him so much for sacrificing so many things like free time, hobbies, writing, time with friends, trips home to see family (most of the time I have to go without him).
Well now, I would so like to see him reap what he has sown over the last 18 months.
Would you pray with me that Chris would be accepted for the job as ASM? The store is in Allen...about 15 minutes from our house. It is an amazing opportunity to break into this district which is much closer to our home.
Please pray that Benjamin, who has prayed so hard and so consistently that his daddy could have just one job soon, would see that God hears our prayers and he blesses us.
I would really appreciate it. We're so grateful to have gone through this season because we have grown in many ways, but we're hoping that it will be a memory next month instead of a reality.
Thank you!!!

Delighting in Your Imperfect Husband

This is an article written by one of my favorite "older woman" out there. I hope it's an encouragement to you. How to tenderly love a man with blemishes. by Carolyn Mahaney Your husband comes home from work, heads to the nearest comfy chair, and pulls the newspaper up in front of his face. What sort of thoughts run through your mind? Are they kind thoughts? Loving thoughts? Or thoughts you dare not reveal? We frequently face situations where we are tempted to think harsh and critical thoughts. Sometimes as wives we are more inclined to concentrate on what our husbands are doing wrong than on what they are doing right. We are more aware of their deficiencies than areas where they excel. But if we submit to these temptations, they will only lead to the demise of warm affection. Rather, we must choose to focus on our husbands' many commendable qualities. As we do this, we will be amazed. We'll start to discover more and more good qualities that we were failing to see because we were blinded by our critical thoughts. Tender Thoughts In her book Love Has a Price Tag, Elisabeth Elliot includes some very good counsel from her husband for wives: A wife, if she is very generous, may allow that her husband lives up to perhaps eighty percent of her expectations. There is always the other twenty percent that she would like to change, and she may chip away at it for the whole of their married life without reducing it by very much. She may, on the other hand, simply decide to enjoy the eighty percent, and both of them will be happy. The apostle Paul understood the influence of people's thoughts on their feelings and behavior. He exhorted the Philippians in this way: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8 ESV). If we make it our aim to think these kinds of thoughts about our husbands, we will experience tender feelings for them. In Ed Wheat’s Love Life for Every Married Couple, Shirley Rice writes: Are you in love with your husband? Not, Do you love him? I know you do. He has been around a long time, and you're used to him. He is the father of your children. But are you in love with him? How long has it been since your heart really squeezed when you looked at him? . . . Why is it you have forgotten the things that attracted you to him at first? . . . Your husband needs to be told that you love him, that he is attractive to you. By the grace of God, I want you to start changing your thought pattern. Tomorrow morning, get your eyes off the toaster or the baby bottles long enough to LOOK at him. Don't you see the way his coat fits his shoulders? Look at his hands. Do you remember when just to look at his strong hands made your heart lift? Well, LOOK at him and remember. Then loose your tongue and tell him you love him. Will you ask the Lord to give you a sentimental, romantic, physical, in-love kind of love for your husband? He will do this. Let's heed Shirley’s advice: If we have forgotten the things that first attracted us to our husbands, let's change our thought pattern and start to remember them. Tender Behavior Tender thoughts are only the beginning! As Linda Dillow says in Creative Counterpart, “Now that you know your husband's admirable qualities, why keep them to yourself? It's good to admire your husband secretly but how much better to admire him actively!” We can admire our husbands actively by prizing them, cherishing them, and enjoying them. Prize Him Michelle poured her life and energy into her two small children. However, the demands and joys of motherhood crowded out her love for her husband. Friendships and service in the church even took precedence over her relationship with Peter. They didn't have any major problems, but their marriage certainly wasn't exciting anymore. Intimate communication and even daily expressions of affection had dwindled. After nine years of marriage, their relationship more closely resembled an amiable business partnership. Michelle was so busy raising her daughters, she didn't even notice. Michelle had ceased to “prize” her husband. There was a time when Peter was the most important person in her life, but over time her children and friends had become more significant. However, according to Scripture, these are faulty priorities. The Bible makes it very clear that, after our relationship with God, our relationship with our husband is to be our highest priority. In the creation account in the book of Genesis, we discover that woman was created to be her husband's helper (Genesis 2:18). The same is restated in the New Testament: “For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man” (1 Corinthians 11:8-9). Then in our Titus 2 passage we see that the list of instructions for the younger women begins and ends with their relationship to their husbands. Notice from the aforementioned verses that we were created to be our husband's helper, not our children's mother. Certainly we are to love, care for, and nurture our children, but this love is to flow out of a lifestyle that is first and foremost committed to helping our husbands. Our husbands should always remain first in our hearts and in our care. In fact, one of the most loving things we can do for our children is to prize our husbands. It provides a wonderful security in their lives, and it presents a biblical model for them and their future marriages. Michelle was unaware that she was putting her children before her husband until several faithful friends from church brought it to her attention. “It was like waking up,” she said. “I was blind to it.” Michelle immediately began to make changes. She started by praying each day that God would give her greater love for Peter. But she didn't stop there. She began to express affection in creative ways—through cards and letters. She took time to think about things that would bless Peter. She sought his opinion first instead of going to her friends. In short, she made her relationship with her husband her highest priority! Her actions had a tangible effect. As a couple they began to pursue interests and activities that didn't involve the children. “Things went so well,” Peter said, “that we began to look for more opportunities to steal away together and have fun and enjoy each other.” For their anniversary they spent a weekend alone. “The most enjoyable part was simply enjoying one another and our newfound romance. We had a blast!” Let's heed Scripture's counsel and follow Michelle's example. We should do whatever it takes to let our husbands know that we prize them above all others! Cherish Him Remember that we vowed in our wedding ceremony “to love and to cherish till death do us part”? Do we even understand what we promised to do? To cherish means to hold dear, to care for tenderly or to nurture, to cling fondly to, or treat as precious. So how do we make our husbands feel cherished? Who better to ask than husbands? I queried a number of men: “What is one way your wife cherishes you?” Here are some of their answers: “If I'm sick in bed, my wife prepares tea and meals for me without my asking and waits on me hand and foot. It's as though her world stops so she can take care of me.” “Each time Karin catches my eye in public with a smile and subtle wink, or greets me with a warm embrace upon my arrival home from work, or hangs on my arm when we go out on a date, the message comes through loud and clear: 'I enjoy being with you and want you to know that I love you.'“ “If I am struggling with a sin, Bonnie will communicate her love for me before bringing correction. Her care for me in those moments is when I feel most cherished because I know she loves me, even at my worst.” “Valori cherishes me by regularly encouraging me in my walk with God and thanking me for pursuing Him with all my heart. This encourages me to persevere, even when I am walking through trials.” “Julie is an astute observer of my life and my needs. She listens carefully whenever I express the smallest desire for something. Along with normal holidays, she will frequently pick up gifts that are relevant, timely, and special to me.” May these examples spark our own creativity! Let's think of one way that we can cherish our husbands today. Enjoy Him Phileo is not a dutiful love; it is to be characterized by joy and delight. We are to find great happiness in our relationship with our husbands. We should prefer their company above all others. We should find genuine pleasure in serving them, and we should take an interest in what they enjoy. Now taking an interest doesn't necessarily mean that we have to duplicate their enthusiasm or involvement. But the fact that we are even interested in what they enjoy will be meaningful to them. Though there are some areas where I have not done so well at enjoying what my husband enjoys (sports being just one), I have come to appreciate one of his favorite pastimes. My husband loves to read. In fact, on our honeymoon he took one whole suitcase filled only with books! Now to his defense, he didn't actually read any of those books. But that gives you a clue as to how much he enjoys this activity. His habit, no matter what time we get into bed at night, is to prop himself up and read for at least twenty minutes before going to sleep. When we were first married, this bedtime habit really irritated me. I would be particularly unhappy with the routine on nights when I was dog-tired but couldn't sleep because the light was still on. However, I came to realize that I was the one who needed to adjust. So I chose to join my husband. Now I prop myself up, get my book out, and read with him. And guess what? It has become one of our favorite things to do together. Even if it's not our preference, we should make an effort to enjoy those things that interest our husbands. Who knows? God may surprise us. We may end up actually liking them! God’s Grace Our gracious God delights to honor our obedience. As we seek to prize, cherish, and enjoy our husbands, He will freely fill our hearts with love and affection for them. This will happen regardless of your circumstances—no matter how long it has been since you have felt or demonstrated affection for your husband, no matter how many times you have tried and failed. God is eager to impart fresh grace to you. Adapted from Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney. Copyright 2004 by Carolyn Mahaney and Sovereign Grace Ministries, page(s) 31-37. Used by permission of Crossway Books, a ministry of Good News Publishers, Wheaton, Illinois 60187, www.crossway.com. Download for personal use only.

Quote of the day

Quote by D.A. Carson

“So many Christians today identify themselves with some ‘single issue’ (a concept drawn from politics) other than the cross, other than the gospel. It is not that they deny the gospel. If pressed, they will emphatically endorse it. But their point of self-identification, the focus of their minds and hearts, what occupies their interest and energy is something else” (The Cross and Christian Ministry, p. 63).”

Thought on Submission

Okay, the topic has been heavy on my heart lately. Maybe because I have read several books lately discussing the biblical wife's roles and then we also attended the Family Life Conference which encouraged me in this area. But the reason this topic has been on my heart is most definitely because the Lord needed to do a work in this area. How could I have gone through almost 8 years of marriage without having a good understanding of submission?
I bet you're thinking... "Wow, she's very unspiritual!" But really, up until 6 or 8 months ago, my idea of submission was letting your husband make the final call in a life-changing decision for your family after you had discussed it together thoroughly for 2 or 3 weeks. He could have the final call. It would be hard...oh yes, but I would submit.
Now, I still think that type of situation is one example of submission, but now I see it as so much more! After the recent teaching I've had on this subject I am seeing that submission is an ATTITUDE. It is an everyday thing. You may already know this and be thinking, "Duh?!" But for me, this was revolutionary! I can submit simply by my loving, supportive attitude.
My friend Jenni told me a long time ago about the 3 C's.
Don't:

1. Challenge
2. Correct
3. Criticise

All of these things are important elements in a submissive attitude. The Bible calls husbands and wives to different roles. We know this.

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Chris, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." Eph 5:22-24
Also,
"...the wife must respect her husband." Eph 5:33

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..." Eph 5:25-26

Husbands are commanded to love their wives. Wives are commanded to submit to and respect their husbands. Respect is a biggie! I think that respect has everything to do with the 3 C's. By not challenging, correcting or criticizing our husbands constantly, in public or private we show that we respect them. Think about it...if you were having a conversation with you pastor, would you be challenging everything that came out of his mouth? Would you look at him with disbelief at what he's saying, like he's stupid? Would you correct his grammar or his facts about a story he's telling? Would you criticize him for telling a particular joke or for doing a project in a certain manner or for wearing a certain shirt? NO! You would respect his decisions, his word choices and his freedom of speech. Our own husbands deserve that same kind of respect and more!!! Now granted, if your husband embarrassed you in public, or hurt you in some way, or is fashion challenged, I think there is definitely a place for going to your husband in respect and love and pleading your case. Most husbands would receive that type of plea with humility because it was done in love and in a non-threatening manner. In a way, you earn your right to go to him because it not often and he knows you love and respect him by the way you treat him daily.
Striving not to challenge, criticize or correct. It's an attitude. It's a way of life.

I am to submit to Chris as the leader in our home.

Why to submit?

• Because God has placed the husband as the head of our family, even if I don't recognize him as the head, he is STILL the head. God says so.
• Because BY submitting to Chris, I am submitting to Christ himself. I am submitting to my Lord and Savior by obeying His command to submit to my husband.
• Because it sets an example for my son of what his role will be one day and the weight of his position in his family. He will be the leader and his wife will be submitting to his authority. That's BIG! He will also add this qualification to his "list" for a future wife. He will long for a woman with a submissive spirit.
• Because I am THE role model for my daughter! Unfortunately sometimes, my daughter will look at me, her mom to figure out what the role of a wife looks like. She will mimic my attitude toward Chris with her own husband. She will go into her own marriage with a mindset of what a Christian wife looks like . I want it to be a biblical mindset.
• Because it is the way God says we can live in peace and harmony in our homes. He has set up the plan. Who am I to think my plan is better than God Almighty's?

Why NOT to submit?

• We should not submit to our husbands because they are perfect and know all. If you are married to human, like I am, then we all know that our husbands are far from perfect. We don't submit to them because they know all things as God does. NO!
  
• We don't submit to our husbands because they are smarter than we are. Chris respects my thoughts and asks for my opinion all the time. His respects my ideas, and sometimes there is some wisdom in my advice. But it all goes back to my attitude. Do I act like I want to steal the reigns from him? Do I act condescending? Do I rant and rave that in a way threatens him to go my way or else? Do I manipulate him through my words or attitudes? Do I portray people and situations in an accurate light to him or do I manipulate the picture he has so as to get my way? The influence that a woman has over her husband is POWERFUL! I say this as a caution, not as a reason for celebration. You've heard the saying, "A man is the head of a family, but the woman is the neck. She can turn the head any way she wants." How true and how often misused as wives.
• We do NOT submit to our husbands because they are always right, OR only when they are right!! One of the hardest things is watching your husband make a decision that you disagree with. Submission is supporting him even after you've advised him otherwise and doing so with a good attitude. This does not include, "I told you so." He will know that you were right. You don't have to remind him. BUT!!! Even better ladies...if he was right and YOU were wrong. How humbling! What an awesome reminder that not only are our husbands nor perfect, but WE are not perfect!! HELLO?!?!
  

This just barely skims the surface, I know. The reason I put all this up on my blog is because I want to hear your thoughts. What else can you teach us about submitting to our own husbands? What have you learned? How has God blessed you for being obedient?
This is all part of my pursuit to after God, put my husband first. I want to set my priorities in a biblical order and pray that God will bless our family because of it. I pray he will bless yours as well!

"Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret" Book Review

From the back cover:

"J Hudson Taylor was truly God's chosen servant. From his early life in England, through the founding of the China Inland Mission, to reaching millions of pagan Chinese, his life of complete faith gives glorious testimony to God. His spiritual secret could change your life."

Hudson Taylor endured trials like we hope to never have to face in our lifetimes, but his philosophy was inspiring...
"All these difficulties are only platforms for the manifestation of His grace, power and love."

When talking with a recent convert, the Chinese man asked Taylor,
"How long have you had the Glad Tidings in your country?"
"'Some hundreds of years,' was the reluctant reply."
"'What? Hundreds of years? My father sought the Truth,' he continued sadly, 'and died without finding it. Oh, why did you not come sooner?'
It was a moment, the pain of which Hudson Taylor could never forget, and which deepened his earnestness in seeking to bring Christ to those who might still be reached."

Another quote I liked. "An easy, non-self-denying life will never be one of power. Fruit-bearing involves cross-bearing. There are not two Christs- an easy-going one for easy-going Christians, and a suffering, toiling one for exceptional believers. There is only one Christ. Are you willing to abide in Him, and thus to bear much fruit?"

And this last quote, very convicting to this "Martha" heart...
When discussing how important it is to maintain regular, prayerful Bible study he said, "Satan will always find you something to do," he would say, "when you ought to be occupied about that, if it is only arranging a window blind."

An encouraging book to say the least. It makes you pray for God to make you a better servant of the kingdom. Thanks Jenni and Julie for the recommendation!

Creative Counterpart Review

I was excited to read a sound book on being the kind of "woman, wife and mother you've longed to be." Linda Dillow writes from a seasoned wife and mother perspective. She offers encouragement, ideas, examples and most importantly scriptural truths that define who we are to be as women, wives and mothers.

Because I don't want to give too many good parts away for those of you who are about to read the book, I'll just put some of my favorite quotes here to wet your appetite.

• In this quote, Linda is talking to an older woman and this is what she says about being a stay-at-home mom. "If I had it to do over again, I'd do it so differently. I was in my home all right, but I wasn't really there! I was on the phone planning a luncheon, organizing the Sunday School program or a tennis tournament. And when my children came into the room, I'd shove cookies in their hands and tell them Mommy was busy." Linda goes on to evaluate what this woman had said, "God used this discussion to challenge me to evaluate my time with my children. Was I really there-available for their needs? Or was I preoccupied with other things in order to avoid the pressure and responsibility of small children?...Even the tastiest cookie is no substitute for time and attention."
• Here is a great list of questions to ask your hubby on your next date night (which is highly recommended)
• What is the happiest thing that has ever happened to you?
• What has been the hardest experience of your life?
• What are your secret ambitions or goals?
• What are your deep fears?
• What about me do you appreciate the most?
• What traits about me would you most like to see changed?
• What man or men do you admire and why?
• The Benefits of a Submissive Spirit:
• She list several, but this one stuck out to me. Tension Releaser- often tension, tiredness and pressure are a result of a woman absorbing responsibilities that God never intended her to have. So we complain about having so much on our plate, but really ...how much of that was never to intended to be on our plate in the first place? Maybe we need to truly turn that area over to our husbands and let GO! (Like the FINANCES!!)
  

These just a few of the things that the author said that spoke to my heart. Things I hope to take away from the book and use to examine my life!

Clifford and my reading progress

Ok...
So I have read 2 of the books on my list so far. I hope to start the third today. I want to do a tiny book review on each of them later today or tomorrow. We have VBS at our church this week and so we will be gone every morning this week, leaving only the afternoon to get everything done!

This afternoon, after VBS we met daddy for lunch and then went to the library. We turned in the kids' second level of reading log. They each got a stuffed animal and a new book. How cool is that??? Every time I read 10 more books to them they will get yet another free book!! And each time their name is also entered into a drawing for a grand prize... a Barnes and Noble gift card. Clifford was at the library today and the kids wanted to take a picture with him. Cait doesn't look too happy in the picture, but she was quite pleased with Clifford and wasn't scared a bit.
Now, finally, we are home and the kids are resting. Don't you just love that afternoon calm when everyone is resting??? Priceless!

Book Challenge

Anyone up for a good challenge? I stumbled across this random blog the other day. The woman was a Christian, home school mom of 4 kids. She had set several goals for herself over the summer. She posted the goals on her blog as a way of being held accountable in a sense. One of her goals was to read 2 books a week! That is a lot of books! Even if I had a lot of time for reading, I don't read that fast...period. However, it got me to thinking about my own to desires to catch up on my reading this summer while I have a little extra time. I have made a goal to read one book a week for the months June, July and half of August. Now, some of these books I am already half-way through, so I simply need to complete them in a week.

My kids are participating in a Summer Read Program through the Wylie library. They've already "read" (or should I say "listened to") 10 books each. Today at the library they each got a mini-trophy, a star hung in the library with their name on it, a Sonic Wacky Pack gift certificate and a free ticket to a Rangers game. Pretty cool huh? Well, I can't give you prizes really, but I will certainly cheer you on!!

Who else is with me? Anyone want to set your own goal and list your books here for all to see? This way, if you read something really great and would like to share, you could tell us about it. It might make us add that book to our own reading list for the future.

I hope I'm not alone in this endeavor. Here is my list:

• Creative Counterpart (complete it)

• When You Don't Desire God

• Excellent Wife

• Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret (complete it)

• The Well-Trained Mind (reread parts and complete it)

• Shepherding A Child's Heart (reread and complete)

• Mission of Motherhood (complete it)

• War of Words (complete it) ... are you seeing a pattern here??

• Heart of Anger

• Shaping of Christian Home (yes Jenni...I plan on asking you if I can borrow it!)

Okay, so after making this list and looking at how big some of the books actually are...maybe I'll just keep my list at 10 book for the summer instead of 12. That's probably closer to realistic for me.

I'll sign off for now because I have some reading to do!!

Just a Suggestion

WOW!!! I know I've mentioned the Girl Talk blog before on this blog, but I have to talk about it again. Today's post was entitled, "Just a Suggestion." It was such an excellent reminder of the differences between us as believers and how we like to segregate ourselves into little groups who are like-minded with us. I feel so convicted tonight!! Go check it out for yourself.

Quote of the day

"There is nothing--no circumstance, no trouble, no testing--that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has gone past God and past Christ right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with a great purpose, which I may not understand at the moment. But as I refuse to become panicky, as I lift up my eyes to Him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no trial will ever disarm me, no circumstance will cause me to fret--for I shall rest in the joy of what my Lord is!--That is the rest of the victory!" - Alan Redpath

Random happenings

This morning I fixed a piece of peanut butter toast for my breakfast. After I was finished I wanted something else to eat. Not having many choices in my pantry or fridge, I decided to have another piece of toast with grape jelly on it.
After I was finished and sufficiently full I realized...
I just ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for breakfast!
Weird, I know.

The kids and I were playing around in the floor before naptime today. I was tickling Benjamin and feeling pretty helpless he put his hands out towards me like he was "getting" me with some secret force (something he inevitably learned from 'Star Wars' viewing with daddy). I said, "What are you DOING?" He answered, "I'm using the forest to get you." Like, duh mom! You know, the forest!
I was cracking up!

We took Cait to the dr. yesterday and found out that she has a urinary track infection. She started antibiotics today. Medicine is so expensive!!! We have good insurance, but not good prescription coverage. The bottle cost $95 and with our insurance we paid ONLY $50. Yikes! Thank God for insurance though even if it is not the best coverage!

Last night we had a Ladies Meeting with the Ladies from our church. What a blessing to be with such godly women. I was encouraged in so many ways. We discussed our Retreat that, Lord willing, will happen in November. I can't wait! Last year was so much fun! We really need that time with other ladies in our church, don't we? We need to learn from ones ahead of us and encourage those behind us in the walk or being a wife, mother, Christian woman.

Today is Friday and I love Fridays! Tonight I am cooking my husband a scrumptious meal. Lord willing, it will consist of:
Cheese enchiladas
Mexican rice
Refried beans
Homemade guacamole with chips

I'm already hungry! That PB&J and the half sandwich I had for lunch aren't enough to make it the end of this day!
Have a great weekend everyone. I am looking forward to my 3 weeks of no work. I've got a few projects planned that I want to work on during this time. I'll let you know how that turns out.
God bless!