Helpmate First

New Beginning

2006-08-18T15:09:00.000-07:00

I have begun a new and long journey. You can read about it here. Thank you all for the blessing of your prayers, concern and love over the last 2 weeks. It has blessed me beyond measure!

Sad ending, new beginning

2006-08-12T15:17:00.000-07:00

Several of you that read my blog already know the ends and outs of my life over the last week.
This week and its holdings changed my life...forever.
This will be my last posting on this blog. I will close it here and start anew somewhere else...some day. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, I'd love to talk with you, eventually. Call me next week sometime and I will update you on how to find me. I will not be putting that information here.
"Peace for today and bright hope for tomorrow,"
Tamra

My Brave Boy

2006-08-04T16:08:00.000-07:00

My sweet brave boy has wanted to jump off the diving board all summer long. Our pool doesn't have a board, so he hasn't had as many opportunities to build up his courage as I would've liked. But yesterday he mustered up the courage to jump. And once he jumped once, he couldn't get enough. He jumped like 20 times. It was great. It's so fun watching your kids try and do new things. Once it was time to leave he said, "Mom, all this time I didn't' know what I was missing by not jumping off the diving board. I want to do it all the time now."
Thanks to Pam, Conner and Erin who invited us over for lunch and swimming yesterday. What fun! And thanks to Amy for watching my children so I could go see her husband (Dr. Bean) about my troublesome tooth! What sweet friends I have!

Summer is nearing the end. Enjoy those hot swimming days while you can before it's time for long sleeves and cocoa. Have a great weekend everyone!

Rude Awakening

2006-08-04T08:51:00.000-07:00

This morning I was awaken...
rudely awaken by a 2 and 1/2 inch cockroach crawling across my neck.

Enough said.

Good News

2006-08-02T11:47:00.000-07:00

Well, what can I say? God is good. He always does what is best for His children. We've walked the path of trial over the last year and half (has it only been that long?) of Chris working 70 hour weeks. I'm proud to announce that this time of trial is coming to an end starting September 2nd! Chris was FINALLY promoted to Assistant Manager! YAY! He deserves this. He has been deserving of this promotion for a while in my unbiased opinion, but those Starbucks people just had to figure it out!

Thanks to all of you who have been praying for us. We so appreciate your love and concern.

Happy Birthday to 3 sweet friends

2006-08-01T15:43:00.000-07:00

July holds so many birthdays for so many special people in my life. Unfortunately, I kind of let them come and go without enough recognition. So better later than never...

Happy Birthday Ann!
You're a sweet, godly friend that I was so blessed to meet over a year ago. Talk about providence bringing 2 people together! Thanks for getting on the plane that day!
Love you!

Happy Birthday Mindy!
Words could never put our friendship in perspective. You are a sister to me. You have been used as an instrument in my life to sharpen me, encourage me and ever so gently rebuke me. I hate that we live so far away now, but we know that miles could never separate 2 sisters in the Lord. I love you my dear friend!

Happy Birthday Laurie!
Thank you for always being the friend that makes me and mine feel so loved and special. You are my scrapbooking buddy, my accountability partner and my sister in the Lord! I can always count on you whenever I'm in a bind. You define loyalty.
You know I love you and cherish our friendship. You are my dear sweet friend! You're the forever kind! Love you Laurie!

Make a wish!

Kindermusik

2006-07-31T15:34:00.000-07:00

Well, as of tomorrow my Kindermusik summer camps are over! What a relief to have one more round of classes completed and kind of sad all at the same time. Several of my students will not be returning until next summer because the mommies teach school and are about to go back to work. I am excited, however, to get some of my students back who took a break over the summer! I'm praying for another year of growth and blessing from the Lord on my little business. What an awesome job I have! I mean, it doesn't get much more fun than this! Here are some pictures of some of my classes so you can get a glimpse at what Kindermusik looks like in action.

Village Class
Birth-18 months

"Bubbles, bubbles, landing on your nose...Bubbles, bubbles, landing on your toes...Bubbles, bubbles floating to the floor...Pop them! Pop them! Now we'll blow some more!"

"Time to put the eggs away, eggs away, eggs away. Time to put the eggs away. Thank you, thank you! Thank you boys and girls!"

"Are you sleeping, are you sleeping brother John, brother John? Morning bells are ringing, morning bells are ringing. Ding, ding, dong! Ding, ding, dong!"

Our Time
Ages 18 months-3 years

Imagine That!
Ages 3-5 years

This is my little summer camp class. This class is usually huge, but this summer it was only these 3 sweet girls and Benjamin. What fun we had! I wish you could hear them sing. One of the sweetest sounds on earth is a preschooler singing his or her heart out!

We went "camping" today and this is the campfire we made. Pretty cool, huh? Wood (rhythm sticks) were gathered in the woods, scarves made flames and flashlights lit it all up. We sang campfire songs as we sat around the fire!!

Worth One Thousand Dollars

2006-07-30T13:30:00.000-07:00

Well we just returned last night from West Columbia, Texas. That was the last stop on a whirlwind trip of the Houston area (really, what one of our trips is NOT a whirlwind??). It was great! Tuesday we drove in and met my parents in the Woodlands. We had dinner, went to a movie (Cars, which was super cute!!) and then went to see my granny afterwards. It made for a late night for everyone, but we had to pack it all in, ya know?

Here are the kids late that night with my granny Johnson. She always has Mardi gras beads for them to play with. Not sure why. She loves them so much!!

It was funny...in the theater while we were watching the movie, Cait tried to sit in one of the chairs. Because she is so little, her little legs couldn't hold it down. It was sort of folding up and closing her up in it. She started yelling, "Help me! My chair is bwoken!" We tried to tell her that it wasn't broken, but she insisted on visiting every chair on our row. She would climb up in it and say, "Nope, it's bwoken too." And every time there would be any upbeat music during the movie, she would get off my lap and start dancing right there in front of us. It was the cutest thing you've ever seen!
So, the next day, Wednesday, we spent inside because there was a monsoon in Tomball. You couldn't even see out the windows the rain was coming down so hard. Made the kids kind of stir crazy so we ventured out to the Chick-fil-a in Tomball. We let the kids play in the play area for over an hour. Mom actually sent me to go get a pedicure in town while she watched the kids. What a treat! Thanks mom!! I needed that peace and quiet.
We were supposed to go that night to Sugar Land to visit Chris's family, but they had been watching their other grandkids for the past 2 days and they were worn out. So we stayed another night at my parents.
Thursday we went to see Chris's sister, Aimee and her girls. Then we went to see my Granny Kemp and have lunch with her. We had such a great visit. What a blessing that time was to me! Afterwards, we headed to Sugar Land for dinner and to get the kids settled. I left Benjamin and Cait there with the Perkinsons that night so I could go to my sisters and set up for the garage sale early the next morning. We were up until 1 am finishing our pricing and signs and such. It was fun to hang out with Danyel, Ryan and my cousin Michelle though. The next day, in 130 degree weather with 98% humidity we had day 1 of our garage sale. We had a super turnout and made over $600 the first day! Day 2 my mom and the kids were with us and we had another great, but hot day. When it was all said and done between us we made over $1000 dollars!!!! Is that possible that junk could be worth that much money??? It obviously is to the people in West Columbia, Texas!
I came away with $300 for my stuff. I was pretty pleased with that! It was fun and totally worth it! I AM glad to home to my hubby though and looking forward to our normal routine this week!! Looking forward to catching up with all of you too!

This is just a portion of our "stuff". This is halfway through day 2 when SO much had already sold.

More STUFF!!

Aren't I lucky that I don't have to post what I looked like on that day if I don't want to. It's MY blog! My cousin Michelle, mom and Danyel. We all looked pretty rough. Hey! We worked HARD!

The kids swimming while the garage sale was going on. The life of a kid...all play!

On the Road Again

2006-07-24T18:09:00.000-07:00

Give me a break, right? Who travels as much as me?? It's been insane and yet I don't regret one trip I've made this summer. Several of our lakehouse trips have been for the benefit of my poor, sweet, overworked hubby. So I definitely don't regret the time spent relaxing there.
This time we are taking our one and only trip this summer to Houston. First Tomball to see my parents, granny J and a few friends, then Sugar Land to see Chris's family without Chris :-( , then ending up in West Columbia to see my sister and sweet nephew. We are hosting the world's largest garage sale on Friday and Saturday. Literally, like 10 people are going in on it. I brought down 3 van loads worth of stuff over 3 trips.
Anyhow, it'll be a fun, fast and furious trip and then home again to see sweet hubby on Saturday night. Honey, if you're reading this...doing something fun while we're gone! I mean it! Go out with your buddies or rent a movie that you know I would hate! You give us all your free time all the time and deserve some to call your own. I already miss you after writing all this out. Maybe I WON'T go....Nah, just kidding!
When we get home I'll update everyone with some pictures of the trip. Gotta get packin'!

It's Time

2006-07-22T14:01:00.000-07:00

I've been putting this off, simply because I have been in complete denial of the hard-core facts. However, I must face reality and let you know that my sweet friend Christi has moved. Not like to the next town over mind you. No....to Nashville, Tennessee! That' a really long way from Wylie, Texas if you didn't already know that.

What can I say about Christi? Have you ever had one of those friends that you loved? You loved them like a sister and hoped that you would be friends forever? Have you ever had a friend that is a lot like you, but OH SO MUCH BETTER?? Have you ever had a friend that you wanted to be around just in hopes that you would become more like them?? Yeah? Well, that's the kind of friend Christi is to me. Now I know...this is the 21st century. I can e-mail her, call her with my unlimited long distance, I can text her, call her on my cell, I could go and read her blog any day I want to see pictures of her family and catch up on the details. I'm so blessed that even though she has moved so far away (and so suddenly I may add) I still have her as a friend.

However, I must bring up the gloomy side of it all. Yes, I must! No more dessert at La Madeline's on a Sunday night. No more playdates with her sweet kids and mine. No more bringing each other meals when one of us needs one. No more Jack in my Sunday School class and no more Grant in Benjamin's class. No more Ramares clan to sit with almost every Sunday to share lunch with. No more cookie cakes!!!!!!

It's all sad and true. But Christi, (I know you're going to read this!) know that you're loved and missed already by all of us! You're one of the sweetest Christian sisters I've ever had. Don't forget about us!!!

Here is Cait at our super early yet traditional birthday party with the kids.
Cait will be 3 on Aug 6th.

Here's Jack blowing out his candle. He will be 3 on July 24th.

Here are all 5 kids together. They really love each other.
It's such a blessing for your kids to have sweet friends!
Come visit us soon!!

It's a GIRL!!

2006-07-19T04:58:00.000-07:00

My sister, Danyel just found out this week that she is having a baby girl. Here she is!! Mia Beth will join her big brother Eli sometime in mid-December. We're so excited!! This is important because, what if Cait never has a sister? That bothers me. I have a sister and I think everyone should have a sister. At least this way Cait will have a girl cousin that she will most likely be very close to. YEA! Baby Mia will make it here (D.V.) just in time for Christmas. Can't wait!

Happy Anniversary

2006-07-18T13:10:00.000-07:00

Eight years ago today I married my prince charming, Chris Perkinson. He has given me two beautiful children and has made me the happiest wife I could be. Thank you honey for these last 8 years (actually 12 if you count the courtship). Thank you for choosing me and loving me and serving me everyday. I couldn't be happier. I can't wait for the next 8!

Yours only,
Tamra

Home

2006-07-17T12:32:00.000-07:00

I went to the lakehouse this weekend with my children. We met my mom, sister, baby Eli, my aunt Shannon, aunt Sharon and my two cousins Angela and Michelle. This was our second annual scrapbooking/quilting retreat all together. What fun!! I seriously wanted to get a lot done on my scrapbooking, but ended up getting so much more.
My mom and my two aunts are woman that I admire. I could admire them for many reasons, but one thing that is common between the three of them is that they all have outstanding marriages. It is clear that they each adore their husbands, serve them, rarely speak ill of them and are very much in love. So I asked them. I came right out and asked what they would tell me, a woman who will be married 8 years tomorrow. What would you tell me as a young married woman on how to be a better wife and keep my marriage alive. They all seemed to light up as if I was talking to them about their personal favorite subject. The encouragement and ideas flowed from their lips onto ready to listen ears.
What they said specifically I've heard before. It wasn't mind-blowing wisdom. Dates nights, putting your husband's feelings about your own (even when he's acting like a "knot-head"), keep s-e-x interesting and frequent (yes, they said that!). BUT, even though the info wasn't new the point is that they encouraged me on what a tremendous blessing it is to keep your husband first in your heart after the Lord. There is blessing on that day when you suddenly realize that your youngest child is independent. There is joy in knowing that you still have a life. A life with your beloved.
It was a sweet time. It was a well-spent weekend with my family, and I got 16 pages done on my scrapbook!! Whoo hoo! I can't wait until next time.

Job Update

2006-07-13T07:01:00.000-07:00

Just to give everyone an update on where we are with the job...we had a little bump in the road as far as communication goes and so there is more waiting. We have to wait until Chris's district manager returns from her vacation on Sunday to get more answers. Please keep praying as we wait that the Lord would give Chris favor in these people's eyes and that they would want to hire him.

Thanks to everyone who is praying. So many of you have called or e-mailed to inquire, so I thought I'd let you know that we still don't know. We'll let you know as soon as we do!

Quote of the day

2006-07-07T12:17:00.000-07:00

Here is a quote from my friend Mary's blog. I found it to be very poignant...

"Humility is not produced by comparing oneself to others or by self-abasement. . .Humility is produced by seeing oneself in the light of who God is."

Have a great weekend everyone!
Tamra

1 Down...99 to Go!

2006-07-06T09:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I started teaching Benjamin to read. Well...we've actually been working on letters and their sounds, forming letters, etc. for many, many months. But yesterday we did lesson #1 in "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons." It is not what I would have chosen if I had every resource at my disposal, but hey, I'm sure it will produce the fruit of my son knowing how to read. He's so ready and I just didn't want to wait any longer!

The Girl Talk blog was an encouragement and a reminder to me the other day when talking about reading. They reminded me that reading alone doesn't cut it. You have to pray and ask God to help you learn and change as you read a book. Books give us good ideas or are good tools for our lives, but the Holy Spirit alone is what does the changing in our lives. I want to strive to lean on Him and rely on His grace as I attempt to teach my children anything. The first thing on the agenda is reading...but before I know it it will be Calculus and Chemistry. More grace please Lord!!

2006-07-01T13:09:00.000-07:00

Here is an article by John Piper called, "Husbands Who Love Like Christ and the Wives Who Submit to Them." Thanks to Mindy for sending me this article. It goes right along with our submission discussions of late.

For the glory of God,
Tamra

A Book Review: The Well-Trained Mind

2006-06-30T11:37:00.000-07:00

I finally finished reading the parts of this book that applied to me in the immediate future. This is a massive book and not necessarily meant to be read through, but read in applicable sections and then used as a reference. The classical school method has long interested me and I wanted to understand the philosophy behind it better as to determine whether or not it is for our family. Side note: You have to understand that I do not consider myself in charge of our children's education. My husband definitely gets the "say so" but he totally relies on me to do the research and bring the facts to him. He trusts my opinions on our childrens' educations to the utmost...too much I think. I feel pretty overwhelmed sometimes at the idea of being responsible for what and how our children learn. But then there are other days (thankfully more in frequency) when I just can't wait to dive in!!!

Instead of reviewing the book here and giving tons of details that most of you won't care to read, I decided I would put a link here to the "Well-Trained Mind" website's definition of Classical Schooling.

This systematic style of learning that is language-centered (which obviously appeals to my English Lit major husband) truly makes sense to my brain. I am a systematic thinker...I think. As of now, we are planning to forge into this new territory. I just have to remember not only today, but every single day from now until graduation day that I cannot do this task in my own strength. If I feel convicted that this is the road God desires our family to take, then I must take it with confidence in my Savior alone...not in my own abilities or lack thereof.

Same goes for almost anything, right?

Prayer Request

2006-06-29T16:00:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is it...again.

Chris has an interview with Starbucks for an Assistant Manager position in Allen.
We have a date, which is July 10th at 9:30 am.

Most of you know what we went through last December when we were disappointed by an ASM position that fell through. That meant for us 6 more months of Chris working 70 hour weeks. Guys, he's wiped out. He's functioning and God has protected him in an incredible way from illness. But after "paying our dues" for a year and a half now at Starbucks we are SO ready for a normal 40 hour/week job!! Chris has worked so hard!! I respect him so much for sacrificing so many things like free time, hobbies, writing, time with friends, trips home to see family (most of the time I have to go without him).
Well now, I would so like to see him reap what he has sown over the last 18 months.
Would you pray with me that Chris would be accepted for the job as ASM? The store is in Allen...about 15 minutes from our house. It is an amazing opportunity to break into this district which is much closer to our home.
Please pray that Benjamin, who has prayed so hard and so consistently that his daddy could have just one job soon, would see that God hears our prayers and he blesses us.
I would really appreciate it. We're so grateful to have gone through this season because we have grown in many ways, but we're hoping that it will be a memory next month instead of a reality.
Thank you!!!

Delighting in Your Imperfect Husband

2006-06-28T12:55:00.000-07:00

This is an article written by one of my favorite "older woman" out there. I hope it's an encouragement to you.

How to tenderly love a man with blemishes.

by Carolyn Mahaney

Your husband comes home from work, heads to the nearest comfy chair, and pulls the newspaper up in front of his face. What sort of thoughts run through your mind? Are they kind thoughts? Loving thoughts? Or thoughts you dare not reveal?

We frequently face situations where we are tempted to think harsh and critical thoughts. Sometimes as wives we are more inclined to concentrate on what our husbands are doing wrong than on what they are doing right. We are more aware of their deficiencies than areas where they excel. But if we submit to these temptations, they will only lead to the demise of warm affection.

Rather, we must choose to focus on our husbands' many commendable qualities. As we do this, we will be amazed. We'll start to discover more and more good qualities that we were failing to see because we were blinded by our critical thoughts.

Tender Thoughts

In her book Love Has a Price Tag, Elisabeth Elliot includes some very good counsel from her husband for wives:

A wife, if she is very generous, may allow that her husband lives up to perhaps eighty percent of her expectations. There is always the other twenty percent that she would like to change, and she may chip away at it for the whole of their married life without reducing it by very much. She may, on the other hand, simply decide to enjoy the eighty percent, and both of them will be happy.

The apostle Paul understood the influence of people's thoughts on their feelings and behavior. He exhorted the Philippians in this way: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8 ESV). If we make it our aim to think these kinds of thoughts about our husbands, we will experience tender feelings for them. In Ed Wheat’s Love Life for Every Married Couple, Shirley Rice writes:

Are you in love with your husband? Not, Do you love him? I know you do. He has been around a long time, and you're used to him. He is the father of your children. But are you in love with him? How long has it been since your heart really squeezed when you looked at him? . . . Why is it you have forgotten the things that attracted you to him at first? . . . Your husband needs to be told that you love him, that he is attractive to you. By the grace of God, I want you to start changing your thought pattern. Tomorrow morning, get your eyes off the toaster or the baby bottles long enough to LOOK at him. Don't you see the way his coat fits his shoulders? Look at his hands. Do you remember when just to look at his strong hands made your heart lift? Well, LOOK at him and remember. Then loose your tongue and tell him you love him. Will you ask the Lord to give you a sentimental, romantic, physical, in-love kind of love for your husband? He will do this.

Let's heed Shirley’s advice: If we have forgotten the things that first attracted us to our husbands, let's change our thought pattern and start to remember them.

Tender Behavior

Tender thoughts are only the beginning! As Linda Dillow says in Creative Counterpart, “Now that you know your husband's admirable qualities, why keep them to yourself? It's good to admire your husband secretly but how much better to admire him actively!” We can admire our husbands actively by prizing them, cherishing them, and enjoying them.

Prize Him

Michelle poured her life and energy into her two small children. However, the demands and joys of motherhood crowded out her love for her husband. Friendships and service in the church even took precedence over her relationship with Peter. They didn't have any major problems, but their marriage certainly wasn't exciting anymore. Intimate communication and even daily expressions of affection had dwindled. After nine years of marriage, their relationship more closely resembled an amiable business partnership. Michelle was so busy raising her daughters, she didn't even notice.

Michelle had ceased to “prize” her husband. There was a time when Peter was the most important person in her life, but over time her children and friends had become more significant. However, according to Scripture, these are faulty priorities.

The Bible makes it very clear that, after our relationship with God, our relationship with our husband is to be our highest priority. In the creation account in the book of Genesis, we discover that woman was created to be her husband's helper (Genesis 2:18). The same is restated in the New Testament: “For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man” (1 Corinthians 11:8-9). Then in our Titus 2 passage we see that the list of instructions for the younger women begins and ends with their relationship to their husbands.

Notice from the aforementioned verses that we were created to be our husband's helper, not our children's mother. Certainly we are to love, care for, and nurture our children, but this love is to flow out of a lifestyle that is first and foremost committed to helping our husbands. Our husbands should always remain first in our hearts and in our care.

In fact, one of the most loving things we can do for our children is to prize our husbands. It provides a wonderful security in their lives, and it presents a biblical model for them and their future marriages.

Michelle was unaware that she was putting her children before her husband until several faithful friends from church brought it to her attention. “It was like waking up,” she said. “I was blind to it.” Michelle immediately began to make changes. She started by praying each day that God would give her greater love for Peter. But she didn't stop there. She began to express affection in creative ways—through cards and letters. She took time to think about things that would bless Peter. She sought his opinion first instead of going to her friends. In short, she made her relationship with her husband her highest priority!

Her actions had a tangible effect. As a couple they began to pursue interests and activities that didn't involve the children. “Things went so well,” Peter said, “that we began to look for more opportunities to steal away together and have fun and enjoy each other.” For their anniversary they spent a weekend alone. “The most enjoyable part was simply enjoying one another and our newfound romance. We had a blast!”

Let's heed Scripture's counsel and follow Michelle's example. We should do whatever it takes to let our husbands know that we prize them above all others!

Cherish Him

Remember that we vowed in our wedding ceremony “to love and to cherish till death do us part”? Do we even understand what we promised to do? To cherish means to hold dear, to care for tenderly or to nurture, to cling fondly to, or treat as precious.

So how do we make our husbands feel cherished? Who better to ask than husbands? I queried a number of men: “What is one way your wife cherishes you?” Here are some of their answers:

“If I'm sick in bed, my wife prepares tea and meals for me without my asking and waits on me hand and foot. It's as though her world stops so she can take care of me.”

“Each time Karin catches my eye in public with a smile and subtle wink, or greets me with a warm embrace upon my arrival home from work, or hangs on my arm when we go out on a date, the message comes through loud and clear: 'I enjoy being with you and want you to know that I love you.'“

“If I am struggling with a sin, Bonnie will communicate her love for me before bringing correction. Her care for me in those moments is when I feel most cherished because I know she loves me, even at my worst.”

“Valori cherishes me by regularly encouraging me in my walk with God and thanking me for pursuing Him with all my heart. This encourages me to persevere, even when I am walking through trials.”

“Julie is an astute observer of my life and my needs. She listens carefully whenever I express the smallest desire for something. Along with normal holidays, she will frequently pick up gifts that are relevant, timely, and special to me.”

May these examples spark our own creativity! Let's think of one way that we can cherish our husbands today.

Enjoy Him

Phileo is not a dutiful love; it is to be characterized by joy and delight. We are to find great happiness in our relationship with our husbands. We should prefer their company above all others. We should find genuine pleasure in serving them, and we should take an interest in what they enjoy.

Now taking an interest doesn't necessarily mean that we have to duplicate their enthusiasm or involvement. But the fact that we are even interested in what they enjoy will be meaningful to them.

Though there are some areas where I have not done so well at enjoying what my husband enjoys (sports being just one), I have come to appreciate one of his favorite pastimes. My husband loves to read. In fact, on our honeymoon he took one whole suitcase filled only with books! Now to his defense, he didn't actually read any of those books. But that gives you a clue as to how much he enjoys this activity. His habit, no matter what time we get into bed at night, is to prop himself up and read for at least twenty minutes before going to sleep.

When we were first married, this bedtime habit really irritated me. I would be particularly unhappy with the routine on nights when I was dog-tired but couldn't sleep because the light was still on. However, I came to realize that I was the one who needed to adjust. So I chose to join my husband. Now I prop myself up, get my book out, and read with him. And guess what? It has become one of our favorite things to do together.

Even if it's not our preference, we should make an effort to enjoy those things that interest our husbands. Who knows? God may surprise us. We may end up actually liking them!

God’s Grace

Our gracious God delights to honor our obedience. As we seek to prize, cherish, and enjoy our husbands, He will freely fill our hearts with love and affection for them. This will happen regardless of your circumstances—no matter how long it has been since you have felt or demonstrated affection for your husband, no matter how many times you have tried and failed. God is eager to impart fresh grace to you.

Adapted from Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney. Copyright 2004 by Carolyn Mahaney and Sovereign Grace Ministries, page(s) 31-37. Used by permission of Crossway Books, a ministry of Good News Publishers, Wheaton, Illinois 60187, www.crossway.com. Download for personal use only.

Quote of the day

2006-06-26T13:44:00.000-07:00

Quote by D.A. Carson

“So many Christians today identify themselves with some ‘single issue’ (a concept drawn from politics) other than the cross, other than the gospel. It is not that they deny the gospel. If pressed, they will emphatically endorse it. But their point of self-identification, the focus of their minds and hearts, what occupies their interest and energy is something else” (The Cross and Christian Ministry, p. 63).”

Thought on Submission

2006-06-17T08:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, the topic has been heavy on my heart lately. Maybe because I have read several books lately discussing the biblical wife's roles and then we also attended the Family Life Conference which encouraged me in this area. But the reason this topic has been on my heart is most definitely because the Lord needed to do a work in this area. How could I have gone through almost 8 years of marriage without having a good understanding of submission?
I bet you're thinking... "Wow, she's very unspiritual!" But really, up until 6 or 8 months ago, my idea of submission was letting your husband make the final call in a life-changing decision for your family after you had discussed it together thoroughly for 2 or 3 weeks. He could have the final call. It would be hard...oh yes, but I would submit.
Now, I still think that type of situation is one example of submission, but now I see it as so much more! After the recent teaching I've had on this subject I am seeing that submission is an ATTITUDE. It is an everyday thing. You may already know this and be thinking, "Duh?!" But for me, this was revolutionary! I can submit simply by my loving, supportive attitude.
My friend Jenni told me a long time ago about the 3 C's.
Don't:

Challenge
Correct
Criticise

All of these things are important elements in a submissive attitude. The Bible calls husbands and wives to different roles. We know this.

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Chris, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." Eph 5:22-24
Also,
"...the wife must respect her husband." Eph 5:33

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..." Eph 5:25-26

Husbands are commanded to love their wives. Wives are commanded to submit to and respect their husbands. Respect is a biggie! I think that respect has everything to do with the 3 C's. By not challenging, correcting or criticizing our husbands constantly, in public or private we show that we respect them. Think about it...if you were having a conversation with you pastor, would you be challenging everything that came out of his mouth? Would you look at him with disbelief at what he's saying, like he's stupid? Would you correct his grammar or his facts about a story he's telling? Would you criticize him for telling a particular joke or for doing a project in a certain manner or for wearing a certain shirt? NO! You would respect his decisions, his word choices and his freedom of speech. Our own husbands deserve that same kind of respect and more!!! Now granted, if your husband embarrassed you in public, or hurt you in some way, or is fashion challenged, I think there is definitely a place for going to your husband in respect and love and pleading your case. Most husbands would receive that type of plea with humility because it was done in love and in a non-threatening manner. In a way, you earn your right to go to him because it not often and he knows you love and respect him by the way you treat him daily.
Striving not to challenge, criticize or correct. It's an attitude. It's a way of life.

I am to submit to Chris as the leader in our home.

Why to submit?

Because God has placed the husband as the head of our family, even if I don't recognize him as the head, he is STILL the head. God says so.
Because BY submitting to Chris, I am submitting to Christ himself. I am submitting to my Lord and Savior by obeying His command to submit to my husband.
Because it sets an example for my son of what his role will be one day and the weight of his position in his family. He will be the leader and his wife will be submitting to his authority. That's BIG! He will also add this qualification to his "list" for a future wife. He will long for a woman with a submissive spirit.
Because I am THE role model for my daughter! Unfortunately sometimes, my daughter will look at me, her mom to figure out what the role of a wife looks like. She will mimic my attitude toward Chris with her own husband. She will go into her own marriage with a mindset of what a Christian wife looks like . I want it to be a biblical mindset.
Because it is the way God says we can live in peace and harmony in our homes. He has set up the plan. Who am I to think my plan is better than God Almighty's?

Why NOT to submit?

We should not submit to our husbands because they are perfect and know all. If you are married to human, like I am, then we all know that our husbands are far from perfect. We don't submit to them because they know all things as God does. NO!
We don't submit to our husbands because they are smarter than we are. Chris respects my thoughts and asks for my opinion all the time. His respects my ideas, and sometimes there is some wisdom in my advice. But it all goes back to my attitude. Do I act like I want to steal the reigns from him? Do I act condescending? Do I rant and rave that in a way threatens him to go my way or else? Do I manipulate him through my words or attitudes? Do I portray people and situations in an accurate light to him or do I manipulate the picture he has so as to get my way? The influence that a woman has over her husband is POWERFUL! I say this as a caution, not as a reason for celebration. You've heard the saying, "A man is the head of a family, but the woman is the neck. She can turn the head any way she wants." How true and how often misused as wives.
We do NOT submit to our husbands because they are always right, OR only when they are right!! One of the hardest things is watching your husband make a decision that you disagree with. Submission is supporting him even after you've advised him otherwise and doing so with a good attitude. This does not include, "I told you so." He will know that you were right. You don't have to remind him. BUT!!! Even better ladies...if he was right and YOU were wrong. How humbling! What an awesome reminder that not only are our husbands nor perfect, but WE are not perfect!! HELLO?!?!

This just barely skims the surface, I know. The reason I put all this up on my blog is because I want to hear your thoughts. What else can you teach us about submitting to our own husbands? What have you learned? How has God blessed you for being obedient?
This is all part of my pursuit to after God, put my husband first. I want to set my priorities in a biblical order and pray that God will bless our family because of it. I pray he will bless yours as well!

"Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret" Book Review

2006-06-13T14:08:00.000-07:00

From the back cover:

"J Hudson Taylor was truly God's chosen servant. From his early life in England, through the founding of the China Inland Mission, to reaching millions of pagan Chinese, his life of complete faith gives glorious testimony to God. His spiritual secret could change your life."

Hudson Taylor endured trials like we hope to never have to face in our lifetimes, but his philosophy was inspiring...
"All these difficulties are only platforms for the manifestation of His grace, power and love."

When talking with a recent convert, the Chinese man asked Taylor,
"How long have you had the Glad Tidings in your country?"
"'Some hundreds of years,' was the reluctant reply."
"'What? Hundreds of years? My father sought the Truth,' he continued sadly, 'and died without finding it. Oh, why did you not come sooner?'
It was a moment, the pain of which Hudson Taylor could never forget, and which deepened his earnestness in seeking to bring Christ to those who might still be reached."

Another quote I liked. "An easy, non-self-denying life will never be one of power. Fruit-bearing involves cross-bearing. There are not two Christs- an easy-going one for easy-going Christians, and a suffering, toiling one for exceptional believers. There is only one Christ. Are you willing to abide in Him, and thus to bear much fruit?"

And this last quote, very convicting to this "Martha" heart...
When discussing how important it is to maintain regular, prayerful Bible study he said, "Satan will always find you something to do," he would say, "when you ought to be occupied about that, if it is only arranging a window blind."

An encouraging book to say the least. It makes you pray for God to make you a better servant of the kingdom. Thanks Jenni and Julie for the recommendation!

Creative Counterpart Review

2006-06-13T13:10:00.000-07:00

I was excited to read a sound book on being the kind of "woman, wife and mother you've longed to be." Linda Dillow writes from a seasoned wife and mother perspective. She offers encouragement, ideas, examples and most importantly scriptural truths that define who we are to be as women, wives and mothers.

Because I don't want to give too many good parts away for those of you who are about to read the book, I'll just put some of my favorite quotes here to wet your appetite.

In this quote, Linda is talking to an older woman and this is what she says about being a stay-at-home mom. "If I had it to do over again, I'd do it so differently. I was in my home all right, but I wasn't really there! I was on the phone planning a luncheon, organizing the Sunday School program or a tennis tournament. And when my children came into the room, I'd shove cookies in their hands and tell them Mommy was busy." Linda goes on to evaluate what this woman had said, "God used this discussion to challenge me to evaluate my time with my children. Was I really there-available for their needs? Or was I preoccupied with other things in order to avoid the pressure and responsibility of small children?...Even the tastiest cookie is no substitute for time and attention."
Here is a great list of questions to ask your hubby on your next date night (which is highly recommended)

What is the happiest thing that has ever happened to you?
What has been the hardest experience of your life?
What are your secret ambitions or goals?
What are your deep fears?
What about me do you appreciate the most?
What traits about me would you most like to see changed?
What man or men do you admire and why?

The Benefits of a Submissive Spirit:

She list several, but this one stuck out to me. Tension Releaser- often tension, tiredness and pressure are a result of a woman absorbing responsibilities that God never intended her to have. So we complain about having so much on our plate, but really ...how much of that was never to intended to be on our plate in the first place? Maybe we need to truly turn that area over to our husbands and let GO! (Like the FINANCES!!)

These just a few of the things that the author said that spoke to my heart. Things I hope to take away from the book and use to examine my life!

Clifford and my reading progress

2006-06-12T12:27:00.000-07:00

Ok...
So I have read 2 of the books on my list so far. I hope to start the third today. I want to do a tiny book review on each of them later today or tomorrow. We have VBS at our church this week and so we will be gone every morning this week, leaving only the afternoon to get everything done!

This afternoon, after VBS we met daddy for lunch and then went to the library. We turned in the kids' second level of reading log. They each got a stuffed animal and a new book. How cool is that??? Every time I read 10 more books to them they will get yet another free book!! And each time their name is also entered into a drawing for a grand prize... a Barnes and Noble gift card. Clifford was at the library today and the kids wanted to take a picture with him. Cait doesn't look too happy in the picture, but she was quite pleased with Clifford and wasn't scared a bit.
Now, finally, we are home and the kids are resting. Don't you just love that afternoon calm when everyone is resting??? Priceless!